Just Around the River
by X5 - 452
Summary: Pocahontas goes in search of the man she could never forget but she will lose a lot more than her heart...


Pocahontas watched on with heavy heart as John Smith sailed away waving to her from the stern of the ship that carried him away to far off places. His blonde hair danced around his face and his blue eyes never left her. _Did I make the right choice?_ Pocahontas asked herself looking back at John Rolfe who was smiling at her his warn brown eyes gazing on her with adoration and his chocolate brown hair waving in the wind. Yes he adored her, it was obvious to one and all but why did Pocahontas feel her heart was leaving her? She turned back to watch John Smith disappear into the horizon. And so he was gone.

"Rebecca," John Rolfe said to her and Pocahontas shuddered, she would never get used to the name John Rolfe had given her in this new world.

"We should go back inside," John said coming to place a possessive arm around her shoulders and Pocahontas turned to him her eyes shining. 

"John I want to travel, lets leave this world behind us, let's explore, the world is ours," Pocahontas pleaded and John looked horrified at her suggestion.

"Rebecca we couldn't do that, I have responsibilities here," he replied and Pocahontas bowed her head. Could it be that her freedom had really come to an end? After all I have risked to stay free, have I lost what I tried so hard to keep? Pocahontas wondered looking up at John Rolfe's concerned face. He was a good man, handsome and true but would he be able to share her dreams. Pocahontas turned her gaze towards the busy city that had become her home and allowed John Rolfe to lead her away from the harbour and into a world that never wanted her in the first place. 

Later that night, while John was sleeping peacefully in his room, Pocahontas stood by the window in her room. Where is John I wonder? She thought to herself looking out into the expanse of ocean. She closed her eyes to listen to the wind. _I have been in this position before_, she realised with sinking certainty, _before I chose the right path, here again I must choose._ Pocahontas opened her mouth and sung part of a song she had long since left behind in her homeland. 

Should I choose the smoothest course? Steady as the beating drum,

Should I marry, is John Rolfe the one?

Is all my dreaming at an end? 

Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver?

Just around the river bend…

"That song is lovely," a voice startled her and Pocahontas turned guiltily to see John Rolfe watching her from the doorway.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Pocahontas said softly and John walked into her room sitting heavily on her bed.

"I was awake, I was thinking," John said rubbing a hand over his forehead and Pocahontas came to sit on the ground at his feet.

"What about?" she queried looking up at him and John Rolfe reached out gently to touch her face. 

"About you Rebecca…Pocahontas," he corrected himself and Pocahontas knew something was the matter. Since she had been named Rebecca he had never called her anything else.

"John…" Pocahontas said wanting to interrupt but John looked away from her and started pacing the room.

"Let me finish, he has not even been gone a day and you are already pining for him, I thought maybe you could forget him but you can't, can you?" he asked turning his brown eyes on her. There was no accusation or betrayal, just a look of complete loss.

"I can try," Pocahontas, said bowing her head and John Rolfe sighed deeply.

"Yes you can try but you would never succeed, I see it in your eyes the way you look at me, you wish I were him," John said kneeling in front of her and lifting her head so that they were looking each other in the eyes and Pocahontas let a tear trickle from her eye and down her face. John reached up and wiped it away.

"He left for Virginia, the next boat leaves tomorrow, I will arrange for you to be on board," John said standing and walking towards the door and Pocahontas felt her heart lift with joy and she picked herself up off the ground and ran to take John's hand.

"I'm sorry John," she said her joy dwindling at the heartbroken look in John's eyes and John bent his head to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"I know, I'm sorry we weren't meant to be Pocahontas," was his reply as he disappeared into the dark hallway leaving Pocahontas alone in her room. Pocahontas turned back to the window and closed her eyes.

_I am coming John, wait for me, I am coming._

The next day it was Pocahontas standing there saying goodbye to John Rolfe. He looked dejected but he held his head proud and Pocahontas admired him more in that moment. 

"John I…"

"Please no sad goodbyes, we part friends Pocahontas," John interrupted her before she had the chance to say anything. He knew her so well he could anticipate her every word. 

"Call me Rebecca once more," Pocahontas begged needing to hear his gentle voice once more. It was true she loved John Smith, but John Rolfe had come to hold a special place in her heart.

"Farewell Rebecca, I hope we meet again, in the next life perhaps," John Rolfe said and then he turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd.

Pocahontas stared after him then boarded the ship. She left this world in her Indian dress just as she had come and she knew she would never forsake her heritage ever again. _It is who I am_, Pocahontas reasoned with herself and the thought made her smile…and then she swooned on her feet feeling light headed and one of the crew caught her before she hit the deck. The ship was departing and Pocahontas blacked out.

She awoke to voices above her. They were arguing and she opened her eyes sleepily to see the captain and the ships doctor.

"What's wrong with her?" the captain was demanding and the doctor pursed his lips. He was a kind old man, white hair and thick-rimmed glasses, which he pushed back onto his nose.

"She has developed a disease that I cannot treat, we have to take her back," the doctor said and the captain shook his head violently.

"We can't just change course, we are leagues out into the sea now," the captain pointed out and the doctor looked furious.

"She will die, take her back so we can treat her and save her life," the doctor persisted but Pocahontas didn't want to go back, not ever. 

"No, I do not want to go back, take me home to Virginia," Pocahontas croaked from the bed and the doctor looked concerned as he knelt by her bed.

"Miss, I cannot help you, you might die," he told her and Pocahontas shook her head. No she would not die, she was going to see John, no she wouldn't die.

The weeks passed and to the dismay of the doctor, Pocahontas' condition got worse and worse although her sweet spirit stayed strong, she was confident she would be seeing John again. Pocahontas smiled looking at the doctor's frown. He had been so kind to her, he reminded her of her father, she missed him so much. She missed the trees, the waterfalls, the rivers, she missed her people. Pocahontas felt a familiar heaving in her stomach and she sat up as the doctor placed a bucket in her lap just in time. She couldn't seem to keep anything down, whatever the doctor fed her came right back up again. Pocahontas layback down on the bed and her eyelids fluttered closed and she slept.

"Please let us reached Virginia soon," the doctor prayed wetting her hot forehead with a cloth. 

"Land ho!" a shipmate yelled and from her room Pocahontas heard his cry. The doctor was dozing in the corner and ever so quietly she pushed aside her covers and got to her feet swaying slightly. She slowly crept up through the door and onto the deck and she gasped when she saw it. Her home. 

"Send a ship, get the governor here immediately so he can allow us to port," the captain was saying and a band of crewmembers lowered a boat and began guiding the boat to shore. 

He captain turned to see Pocahontas standing at front of the boat and he walked over to her alarmed by the gaunt appearance of her skin and the unnatural slimness of her lithe body. It was frightening that she had lost so much weight; she didn't look well at all.

"You should be resting miss," the captain said but Pocahontas smiled at him.

"I am home," she said with a smile and she swayed unsteadily on her feet and the captain swung her up into his arms and her thin arms clung to his neck. He took her straight back to her room and covered her in the blankets.

"Miss please stay in bed until we have arrived in the port," he said kicking the doctor awake and Pocahontas wanted to argue and tell him she could do as she liked but she was too weak and her eyes closed again.

"What cargo are you carrying?" Pocahontas was alert as soon as she heard the voice. She knew the voice immediately.

"Supplies, medical, and one passenger," the captain replied and Pocahontas flung back the sheets covering her while the doctor frowned at her disapprovingly.

"A passenger?" the voice came again as smooth and masculine as ever. Pocahontas sat up and swung her legs off the bed.

"Yes governor, a young lady, a native, but she's very ill," the captain said pityingly and Pocahontas got to her feet with the help of the doctor.

"What's her name?" the voice asked now urgently and the captain sighed scratching his head.

"I can't really say it well, Poc…Poca…" the captain tried unsuccessfully and Pocahontas walked up the stairs to the deck.

"Pocahontas," John Smith cried out upon seeing her and Pocahontas smiled as he rushed to take her into his arms.

"John Smith," she breathed looking up at him in wonder as she traced a hand down his face and John couldn't resist as he pressed his lips to hers. He pulled away alarmed at how frail she felt in his arms.

"What happened to you?" John asked staring down at her in disbelief.

"I am all righ…." Pocahontas tried to reassure him but she fainted into his arms.

"She's dying," the doctor was saying when Pocahontas came to again and she saw John's pained face staring down at her.

"No!" John cried out a tear escaping from his eye and Pocahontas reached up a finger to wipe the tear away.

"John please do not weep for me, I will be with you forever, whenever the wind blows," Pocahontas promised him and John didn't want to hear her talk of death. Not when he had finally found her again.

"Pocahontas," he buried his face in her hair and Pocahontas kissed him once.

"Throw my ashes to the wind John, remember me," she whispered in his ear and taking her final breath Pocahontas left this world for the next.

"I will remember," John promised kissing her lips once more.


End file.
